10 Shocking Truths Why You Secretly Hate The Person You Love

It’s a feeling many of us dread in our romantic relationships: the burning sensation of anger, frustration, and irritation towards the one person we love. We’ve all been there, at some point in time, feeling like our partner is driving us absolutely crazy, and wondering how we can still maintain a healthy and loving relationship when hate seems to creep in.

Relationship experts say this feeling is more common than we think, and it doesn’t necessarily mean our partner is bad for us or that our relationship is doomed. In fact, experiencing moments of what feels like genuine hatred in our long-term relationships is perfectly normal. According to Terri Orbuch, PhD, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert, feelings of hatred can emerge due to various factors, including built-up resentment, feelings of powerlessness, or the accumulation of hurtful comments or actions from our partner.

We need to acknowledge that these feelings exist and understand that they are temporary. Orbuch says that acting on these feelings is not okay, but feeling them is just part of being human. The key is to find a healthy way to express and process these emotions, not letting hate simmer beneath the surface and potentially boil over.

One approach to addressing our feelings of hatred towards our partner is to look within ourselves and ask why we are feeling a certain way. Are there deeper, underlying issues that need to be addressed? Are there things from our past that are influencing our emotions? Once we understand where our feelings are coming from, we can work on addressing them in a healthier way.

Another crucial aspect of working through hatred in a relationship is communication. Honesty is key, as is finding the right moment to express our feelings without attacking or blaming our partner. Orbuch advises us to use ‘I’ statements to describe how we feel and avoid making assumptions or accusations against our partner.

Of course, every relationship is different, and it may not be easy to navigate through hate-filled emotions with our partner. It may be helpful to seek professional help or couples therapy if our feelings persist and start affecting our daily life.

It can be challenging to acknowledge that hate is a natural feeling, especially in our closest relationships. But if we confront this emotion head-on and work through it, we may just find a stronger, healthier love in return. It all starts by accepting that love and hate can coexist and choosing to do something positive about it.