Partner Reveals Shocking Intimacy Secret: It Now Involves a Third Person!

DEAR ABBY,

I recently discovered a shocking aspect of my partner's desires that has left me questionning our entire relationship's foundation. We've been together for over five years, and for the most part, our relationship has been wonderful. However, I recently found out that my partner now only wants intimacy when a third participant is involved.

I must admit that this revelation blindsided me. To be honest, I'm struggling to process this new requirement and what it might mean for our future together. I've been racking my brain, trying to think of how to approach this delicate matter with my partner.

I've tried talking to friends and family about this, but they all seem to be at a loss for words. Some say it's a red flag, while others believe that it's just a phase my partner is going through. I'm hoping you, Abby, can offer some valuable insight into this unusual situation.

What does it mean when someone only wants intimacy with a third person involved? Is this a common desire, or is there something more underlying that I should be aware of? I'm desperate to understand what my partner is going through and what this means for our relationship's future.

Yours truly,

Left Feeling Confused

DEAR LEFT,

I'm glad you reached out, and I'll try my best to provide some clarity on this sensitive topic. First, it's essential to acknowledge that your partner's desires might not be something you're comfortable with, and it's okay to express those feelings.

There is no straightforward answer to your question, as every individual's desires and needs are unique. However, what your partner is experiencing might be indicative of a deeper issue. The desire for intimacy only with a third person involved can sometimes be a sign of unresolved relationship issues, insecurities, or a lack of honest communication between partners.

Open communication is crucial in situations like these. It's vital that you create a safe and non-judgmental space for your partner to discuss their desires honestly. Be prepared to listen without being confrontational or accusatory, as this might cause your partner to shut down.

It's also essential for you to communicate your feelings about this newfound desire. Be honest about your fears, your lack of understanding, and your concerns about what this might mean for your relationship. Avoid making assumptions about your partner's motivations or feelings.

It's equally important for you to consider your own feelings and boundaries. Ask yourself if this is something you'd be willing to explore and work through together as a couple or if it's a deal-breaker for you.

Consider seeking the help of a couples therapist who can help you navigate these complex emotions and desires. A professional can offer guidance on how to work through this together and might be able to identify any underlying issues that might be contributing to your partner's desires.

Finally, prioritize your emotional well-being in this situation. If you find that your partner's desires are too much for you to handle, it might be time to reevaluate the future of the relationship.

DEAR ABBY DEAR readers:

Have any of you experienced something similar in your relationships? If so, I want to hear from you. What are some healthy ways to navigate alternative desires in your relationship?