Warning Signs Your Spouse Is Repeating The Past And How To Stop It

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My second wife and I moved back to my small hometown recently, and I’m finding her interests are way too similar to my first wife’s. Now, the really gut-wrenching part is when she also laughs exactly the same as my first wife. The first time I caught myself thinking, 'This is like having a carbon copy of my ex' made my blood run cold. Was it just a coincidence? But then I saw her holding up a kitchen mug the exact same way my ex used to. Was I just being overly curious and that led me down this path? My friends seem to think that I’m going through another midlife crisis just like I did around the same time as I was getting divorced. I just do not want to compare my current wife with my ex, I simply do not understand what brought this on and whether this is happening because I moved back to my hometown, or is something within me that keeps pushing for the same kind of women. - Trapped in a Time Loop

Often after we get married, we generally picture a brand new future with our partner - but some partners might react strongly to finding out that their spouse has similarities with their ex - as demonstrated in the letter presented above. For any individual to discern that their new partner bears uncanny resemblance to their former partner can often create a situation where one asks oneself if this is truly a coincidence. There’s an old saying that you can either build yourself new pathways for your experience - or just reuse existing pathways that have been laid before. This principle can help others move forward in the best possible way whether that’s choosing to work to protect the old patterns of their own life's paths, or to forge bold new ones instead of resorting back to the comfortable patterns that tend to keep familiarity even if you know they won’t work for you in the long run. The reason many people do this kind of thing can either be we choose as humans to save time by reacting in preformed pathways for reaction or we simply do not take the time to think things through (human nature has the tendency to just follow, follow) those patterns put in place before in hopes things might turn out differently - however most typically as Miss Lonelyhearts usually says the readers they still typically end up in a bind that you inevitably wind up in. Still when an individual chooses this automatic pre-path choice for a convenient pathway the typical consequences of actions that humans end up as this most definitely suggests some reason exists for you to put less thought forward than you should have toward something. Some might even tend to think that this phenomenon doesn't apply to them since they go after different hobbies, career changes and living in new cities and more - however with age comes new perspectives. Miss Lonelyhearts isn't certain if individual's spouse mimicking your old one’s laugh is a psychological need to continue those patterns that previously led you somewhere more undesirable (re referred to as the repetition compulsion phenomena), but Miss is convinced something very relatable to this individual is going on, as they often feel familiar because there is a tendency of an unknown and uncontrollable past. Miss is far from any psychologists if she gave any expert theories like mentioned earlier so feel free to put any word to wise interpretations from certified psychologists for additional opinion and care on these matter as and other expert related professionals, certified psychologists usually all come to the consensus with their agreements that getting involved with someone very much paralleling your prior significant relationship can occur for many different reasons entirely different then the ones given - they state often time we see the most potential for this occurring if not taking enough time off from relationships before entering new ones.